


I'll Love You Through It

by gray_autumn_sky



Series: Set in Storybrooke, Canon Divergent [13]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-13 18:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15370980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gray_autumn_sky/pseuds/gray_autumn_sky
Summary: During sex, Regina is triggered by something that brings her back to her past trauma; and that Robin helps her though it.Full disclosure: This deals a bit with her marriage to Leopold, and mentions marital rape. It’s not detailed, but its there.





	I'll Love You Through It

Lightening illuminates the room and the thunder cracks so loudly that the walls shake. The flames on the candles flicker and the near-empty bottle of wine rattles on the bedside table; and in that moment, everything changes.

A moment before she was wrapped around him, her knees hugging his hips and her lips dragging over his jaw as their bodies moved together—they’d been in the midst of what had been a romantic evening at home, a celebration for a return to normalcy. Now her fingers press against his shoulder blades as she gasps for air, her back arching as she tries to pull away from him. He can feel her heart racing as he pulls back, giving her some space and watching as her jaw trembles as she turns her face away from him—and when her cheek brushes against his, she flinches and inhales sharply as she attempts to shrink away.

He loosens his hold on her, gently easing her back against the pillows as he reaches down beneath her and tugging up the blankets. Again the thunder crashes and he watches as she winces, pressing her head back against the pillows and closing her eyes closed as tightly as possible as few runaway tears escape from the corners of her eyes.

“No. Please, no,” she hisses in a muffled cry, as her fingers grip around the blanket.

He feels his heart clench as another clap of thunder rattles the room, and once more she inhales sharply, pressing her head back harder into the pillow and gripping tighter at the blanket. He’s never seen her quite like this before, and for a moment, he’s not sure what to do or how to help her. This isn’t like the nightmares that wake her in the middle of the night, that leave her breathless and cuddling into his chest for comfort—and then he realizes that’s because she’s  _in_  the nightmare.

“Regina,” he calls in a soft voice as he settles himself at her side. “You’re okay, love. Everything’s okay. You’re safe here.” Tentatively, he reaches out to her, stroking his fingers over the top of her head. When she doesn’t flinch, he gently pushes his fingers into her hair, combing them slowly back and forth, in an effort to soothe her as he reminds her again and again that she’s safe and she’s strong and she’s so very loved. He closes his eyes and takes long, deep breath, wondering if she can hear him.

They remain like this for what seems like an eternity—him holding his breath and trying to comfort her, trying to coax her back into the present moment, and her so lost in her in whatever hell is haunting her—though, in reality, he’s vaguely aware that only a few minutes have passed.

There’s another clap of thunder and he watches as she winces, crying out as she shrinks way from him, breaking their contact—but this time, her eyelids flutter and her head turns on the pillow. “Robin?”

“I’m here, love,” he murmurs gently, cautiously sliding toward her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers as she looks away from him, blinking as she takes a few shallow breaths. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for,” he tells her in a calm, sincere voice. He slides closer to her and tentatively reaches for her hand, letting his thumb rub delicately over hers, in soft and rhythmic patterns. And when there’s yet another loud clapping of thunder, her fingers fold around his, squeezing tightly as she clutches to his hand.

Again, he slides closer and pulls the blanket up around them. He moves slowly, but deliberately, careful not to break contact with her. He lies beside her and pressing his lips to her forehead—and in spite of everything, he smiles when she nuzzles closer, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” he tells her, as he rubs his palm against her back. “You’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” she says again, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I didn’t…mean to ruin our evening.”

“You ruined nothing,” he replies. “I’m just glad that you’re okay.”

She sighs and for a moment, he expects her to say something in return; but no words come. Instead she continues to breathe in and out—slow and intentional breaths that are meant to calm her. Though he wants to ask, he doesn’t—he just holds her, tracing circles onto her back and dropping the occasional kiss atop her head, as he says a silent prayer that the thunderstorm will soon end.

“This hasn’t happened in a long time,” she murmurs, turning her cheek and casting her eyes upward to meet his. He watches as her eyes cloud and for just a moment, become distant as looks back into her memories. “I thought I was past this. I thought it was behind me,” she says, closing her eyes and nuzzling back against him.

“Is there anything that I can do?” He asks, holding her close as he thinks back to those sleepless nights in the Underworld, thinking back to how the nightmares became increasingly frequent with each passing day, and how she’d spent her waking hours on edge. He hadn’t want to press her into talking about a subject that clearly made her uneasy; so, he’d waited for her to broach the subject—and the one day, it all made sense to him.

Leopold’s voice had been cool and detached as he called her name, and Robin was left to watch as the color drained from her face. Her shoulders had tensed and her breathing was suddenly shallow. It had taken him only a second to piece the puzzle together—she’d been anticipating this meeting, it’d only been a matter of time. He’d stepped in front of her, holding out his hand in front of the king, warning him against coming any closer. Leopold had laughed at the action, but before he could do say anymore, Mary-Margaret rounded the corner and called out to him—and fittingly, Regina was no longer a thought in the king’s mind.

“I’ve never handled thunderstorms very well,” she says, again looking up at him. This time, her breath is steady and though her voice is meek, it’s no longer shaky. “There were a lot of storms that first year I was married to Leopold.” He peers down at her, deliberately dropping a light kiss against her temple in a show support and comfort. “Even though I was well-aware of what my duties were as queen, but he was always quick to remind me. And as horrifying as that was to me, I knew that if I just went along with it, it’d be easier.” She pauses for a moment and he can feel her becoming distant. “He never did last very long.”

He feels a tear against his chest and he pulls her closer. “You don’t have to do this, Regina.”

“I know,” she murmurs back. “But I…I think…” She sighs and again, looks back up at him. “I think talking about it might help—so it’s not just floating around in my head.” She pauses and casts her eyes downward and away from his. “That is, if you…don’t mind.”

Reaching out, he lifts her chin and smiles gently as her eyes meet his. “Of course I don’t mind. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had to tell me, or like you owed an explanation. But, if you’re ready to talk about it, I’m ready to listen.”

She settles back against him, cuddling into him as he folds his arms back around her. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything and he wonders if she’s changed her mind. He reaches up and runs his fingers thought the length of her hair, stroking gently as she presses herself closer.

“There was a party and I left early. It was storming and I was cold and so tired of watching everyone else laugh and dance and have a good time, so I got up and I left,” she begins in a hushed voice. “I was sure that no one would notice, and no one did, but at the end of the night he came up to bedroom and I just wanted to be alone—and I told him that.” She sighs and once more, batting her hand over her eyes in an effort to sweep away the tears. Leaning in, he drops a kiss atop her head and reminds her that she doesn’t have to do this, but her voice continues on. “He’d never been outright cruel before, but that night…he was.”

Robin feels his jaw tense; she doesn’t have to explain anymore for him to know what happened on that stormy night so many years before, and how that night haunts her even now. She flinches and her arms fold around his shoulders as another crash of thunder rocks the room. Cupping the back of her head, he holds her close, thinking of all the times he’d seen the  _good_  king riding along the riverside. He remembers hearing stories of Leopold and his young queen, and he’d never been very interested; but now, he can’t help but think of how easy it would have been to send an arrow sailing into the king’s heart—and the pain it might have saved his queen. He sighs as he holds her, pressing his palm against her back as he murmurs sweet nothings to her, wishing that he could go back in time, that he could have found her sooner, that he could have somehow saved her from years of heartache. But he knows that he can’t do that, just like he knows that his love can’t erase her pain—though, as she cuddles closer to him, he finds himself thinking that he’ll damned if he doesn’t try to do just that.


End file.
